Parsnips, Alcohol and Pork Curry.

Paleo Pork Curry (from Paleo for Beginners)

Paleo Pork Curry (YES, I REALIZE WINE IS NOT PALEO)

Paleo Pork Curry (YES, I REALIZE WINE IS NOT PALEO) from Paleo for Beginners

I’ve now accomplished my second home-cooked paleo meal—quite the accomplishment considering I’ve probably used my kitchen about 5 times during the entire two years I’ve lived in the apartment. I think this means I can retire from cooking in about 10 meals, yes?

Kidding. I’m not sick of cooking—yet.

I’ve actually had a week of pretty incredible food (and by food I mean vegetable) discoveries. I happen to be dating someone who is in fact a very advanced cook (hi Geoff!), who has helped me broaden my palette considerably. Despite the immature faces I pulled in Trader Joe’s, my culinary-inclined man-friend and I left the store armed with parsnips, butternut squash, and a mission to convince me that parsnips can be eaten, not just gagged at like a 5-year-old.

Turns out, they can be! Especially when doused with a healthy bath of olive oil, salt and pepper and cooked until they’re styled with “rustic char” (thanks Geoff!). In fact, I ended up demolishing most of the plate. Parsnips, who knew? (YES, REST OF INTERNET, I KNOW YOU DID).

Roasted parsnips & butternut squash

Roasted parsnips & butternut squash, ready to be roasted to deliciousness.

Mr. Darcy helped, of course. (My dog, not a figment of my imagination inspired by the 1995 BBC Pride & Prejudice miniseries)

Chef Darcy

Chef Darcy

Unfortunately, Geoff can’t cook for me all the time so I’m forced to fend for myself on occasion. So, after I finished up my brussels sprout/chicken sausage/bacon concotion while I watched the Bachelor (hola Juan Pablo!), I was forced to try my next recipe—which I found in the kindle book that started all this bidness in the first place: Paleo for Beginners.

BUT, before I get to the recipe, I need you (and by you I mean the three people reading this) to hear me out on alcohol. I realize alcohol isn’t part of paleo. Cavemen didn’t use screwdrivers to open bottles of wine when they couldn’t find their wine-openers, and certainly didn’t lug trunk-fulls of beer home from Wisconsin so they could share them with their beer-nerd friends.

Not that I’m speaking from experience.

Anyway, even though paleo doesn’t TECHNICALLY allow alcohol, there is room for error. Society has obviously evolved since the paleolithic era, and a big part of that is from the joy that (most of us) get from drinking one too many glasses of wine and twerking like you have nothing to lose (except your dignity, but who still has that?). Even the author of Paleo for beginners acknowledges that alcohol is ingrained in our society, and honestly is just fucking fun. He offers the tip that you can simply get a shot or two of tequila (or vodka) in soda water with lime and sip on that for the night, but ew.

My friends know that I like alcohol in all its forms: beer, wine, liquour—I don’t discriminate. BUT, I’ve found that the older I get, the less I drink—and the more I appreciate a carefully crafted (I accidentally wrote conceited here, freudian slip?) cocktail, or a painstakingly brewed craft beer. It’s not just about “GETTING SO BLACKOUT BRO” anymore, it’s about letting loose with the people you adore after a long week of work—and I would rather savor that than a save few extra calories.

For awhile, I was “letting loose” a little too frequently during the weeknights with my good friends me, myself and I. While a glass of wine every now and then during the week is fine, I was definitely bordering on a glass every NIGHT. I convinced myself it was for stress relief, but I’ve found that yoga, barre class, or even just taking the dog for a 30 minute stroll are FAR more relaxing—and far less calories. Plus, now I especially appreciate my Friday and Saturday nights (and Sunday mornings) when I can sip on my favorite brew, cocktail, or wine, and know that it was truly well-earned after a hard week of work (and occasionally working out).

So, as I’ve pointed out before, I’m following a “paleo-ISH” diet Monday-Friday (Friday afternoons, if we’re being honest here) and then taking the weekends to relax/retain my sanity (in moderation, of course). For tonight’s FULL paleo meal, I created Pork Curry—which might sound hard, but is actually the easiest thing EVER.

Remember, this is coming from the girl who burned microwave popcorn so badly that her entire family had to evacuate their house for 4 hours.

But seriously, it is EASY. Evacuation-proof easy. And the recipe is below. Click for more!

Paleo Pork Curry

Ingredients

Paleo Pork Curry Ingredients

Paleo Pork Curry Ingredients

  • 1 lb ground pork (I got mine from Whole Foods)
  • 1 red onion (JK THIS WAS FOR ANOTHER RECIPE)
  • 1-2 tablespoons Curry Powder (I used 2)
  • 7 oz. Coconut Milk (apparently this is thing?!)
  • 1 TBPS Olive Oil (dur)
  • 1 bag of baby spinach
  • 2-3 garlic cloves (I used 3 because I ❤ garlic)

See, that’s it for ingredients! Always a good sign when assessing for lack of effort in a recipe.

Directions

1. In a large pot (or frying pan) brown the pork in the olive oil

2. Add the curry powder as the pork browns and mix well.

3. Break up any larger lumps of pork.

4. Once the pork is browned, add all the spinach and coconut milk.

5. Heat until the spinach has cooked down (aka wilted)

6. Add the garlic at the end, either minced or using a garlic press to crush it (LOLOLOL like I own a garlic press…for now.)

7. Mix well, remove from and serve

Best part is, you only need a small serving to feel full since it’s 75% meat!

Enjoy, friends!

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